Instructions for Landing in Atlanta and Arriving at the Hereafter

Atlanta ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 911 -- You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R."

Saudi Air: "Thank you Atlanta ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R – Allah be Praised."

Atlanta ATC: "Tower to Iran Air 711 --You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R."

Iran Air: "Thank you Atlanta ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R - Allah is Great."

Pause... Saudi Air: "ATLANTA ATC - ATLANTA ATC"

Atlanta ATC: "Go ahead Saudi Air 911?"

Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE. INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE"

Atlanta ATC: "Well bless your hearts. And praise Jesus. Y'all be careful now you hear and tell Allah we said "hey" -- y'all copy?"